No need to waste valuable daylight hours in the pointless pursuit of smoke-alarm testing.
Just come home late from the office after your partner is in bed and decide to sneak a few rounds of toast. Those day-old curled crusts will interact entertainingly with the elements of the toaster and send your smoke alarm into a frenzy of shrill complaint.
Anyway, now I’m definitely awake despite having to get up to catch a train in six hours, look at this – award winning blogger Stephen Tall watching Question Time. And Pastichio Nuts, who I don’t think has won any awards, watching Stephen watching telly.
It doesn’t get any more cutting edge than this, ladies and gentlemen.