Very silly question

Halfway through a Yougov survey, we get:

Who would you say was the greatest questioner of all time?

  • Einstein
  • Holly Willoughby
  • Nostradamus
  • Aristotle
  • Jonathan Ross
  • My mum
  • Frank Skinner
  • Isaac Newton
  • Davina McCall
  • Satre
  • Anne Robinson
  • Jeremy Paxman
  • Chris Tarrant
  • Other
  • Don’t know
Well, that’s a list and-a-half.

CBRN training at RAF Newton

EDIT: A commenter points out I have a number of the details wrong, for which, apologies. The main purpose of this post is to point out “just how much we expect firefighters to do – far more than just putting out fires.” If ever you should find yourself under chemical, biological, radioactive or nuclear attack, please follow the instructions of the personnel on site and don’t rely on this blogpost as your blueprint to safe escape.

I spent a couple of hours this afternoon at a fascinating training session for emergency services personnel. One of my duties as a councillor is to serve on Notts Fire and Rescue Authority, so this sort of thing crops up every now and again – and always amazes me at just how much we expect firefighters to do.  Far more than just putting out fires.

The event simulated a major contamination incident.  CBRN is Chemical, Biological, Radioactive or Nuclear, and it seems you use pretty much the same sort of kit at all of them.

In attendance were personnel from all three emergency services from all five counties of the East Midlands, as well as quite a lot of military people, presumably soldiers.  I formed part of a group of about 30 observers, who were variously senior managers from the emergency services and other local authority people like me.  We got to go around first for a Q&A and in my case, my first glimpse at the kit they use.

Which is comprehensive.  We started off on a multi-hazard suit, a lurid orange affair with a breathing mask and inbuilt water flask.  They need the water because they get so hot they lose a lot of fluids.

CBRN training day

The guy at the front is wearing one of those suits. You can apparently only wear them for a very limited amount of time – less than an hour – before you have to change out of them, and changing out is a very complicated affair. So complicated that you need a person to help you, and a third person to read off the sheet the order you have to do everything. We got to watch two officers disrobe, helped by two other officers wearing the suit, with a third with the cheat sheet. Every second step was “wash your hands in bleach”. Everything has to be done in the right order to avoid contamination getting from the suit onto you. As we were watching them take the things off, we saw they were in three parts – the fluorescent outer layer, an inner layer, and under that, a fetching mormon style thermal underwear suit.

The procedures for officer safety were monumental – keeping track of working time for safety purposes and to make sure no-one gets left behind; the procedures for dressing, undressing and washing, the things you have to carry with you, the things not to bring.

After looking at officer kit, we then followed an exercise about what would happen to civilians in the “hot zone.” They’d be taken to a tent, have their contaminated clothes cut off them with a safety knife, and asked to put on a set of really strange looking protective clothing. They’d be handed bags with numbers on and matching wrist tags and all their clothes and valuables divided between two bags. Then they have to wipe their faces and blow their noses on a wet-one before trooping off to a video camera to recite their names, details and contents of their valuables bags. Only then do they get to go through the shower and get a third change of clothes.

CBRN training day

Once in the shower, you’re assisted by officers in another type of suit – this one with self contained breathing apparatus that is suitable for helping out in the showers, but not nearly protective enough to enable you go into the hot zone itself.

CBRN training day

While we were there, they ran a simulation about what would happen if one of the suits failed. They had to cut a suit off an officer – not something they practice very often, because the suits are so expensive. Happily, the suit co provide cheaper suits just so you can practice cutting them off.

CBRN training day

And fear ye not – if the contamination had already got to you and you were unable to walk, the Ambulance Service have a very similar decontamination tent next door – but their’s had a portable conveyor belt running down the middle. They put you on a back-board and can then trundle you down through the showers, and do everything for you.

CBRN training day

After all this excitement, we went to see a mobile lab vehicle – all sorts of interesting kit there, including mobile gas spectrometry and machine that could identify white powders. At this point, the exercise was using one of the deserted houses on the RAF base. Officers had found a “body” in the house along with a white powder that could have been the cause of the contamination. The kit they had with them could identify the body from his fingerprints in 5 minutes, and identify the white powder in 2. It turned out to be flour – but could have been anything!

After that, lunch – Hot Pack rations where you add a little sachet of water to something that looked like a bandage, but got very hot, and heated a foil pouch of something pretty tasty – meatballs and pasta.

And after that, a final stop to see a new command and control van with some very fancy equipment. Designed to fit into any fire brigade operation in the country, it had a satellite and dozens of computers, a projector, tables, an awning that looked suspiciously like a caravan awning, and some very able staff keen to show off what it could do. It ran almost entirely like the control centre at Fire HQ, but with the benefit of being on wheels.

All in all a very interesting day. And almost as interesting was the opportunity to see the deserted RAF Newton, billed as a possible site for one of the government’s eco towns. You can see the attraction – there are already dozens of houses there, and the site is very well placed between the A46 and the A52. Any future development should reuse existing buildings as much as possible to take advantage of the embedded energy – it’s much greener to renovate than rebuild. But equally I can see arguments against it – the immediate roads are tiny, and well-used by cycling families, and can do without a thousand new cars. And bits of the tiny village of Newton were very pretty indeed.

Influential Lib Dems – and, yes, hashtag taxonomy

I had to wait until today, with the final announcement of the top ten Lib Dems, when it was finally clear I had fallen short of Iain Dale’s top-50 influential Lib Dems – despite having variously worked with or for several of those who are in the list.

And yet my reach and my influence is significant. Last Friday, I coined a phrase “hashtag taxonomy” that was resoundly mocked in all sorts of places throughout conference until finally culminating in a name check on Radio 5Live when my new friend and celebrity talking head Helen Duffett managed to crowbar it into a interview on the leader’s speech. And not only did Helen say it, someone actually heard it and twittered about it.

And now I hear the concept will be written up into a paper for an American political science journal by my colleague Dr Mark Pack, so I set to work to think of further poncey phrases that might work in an academic concept, finally coming up with the phrase “cross-media, cross-platform hegemony.” I have thought a little further on that and think now I may have confused my hegemonies with my synergies, so what we really need is cross-media, cross-platform synergy. I have been clear throughout, however, that it is most useful to refer to taxonomy in the singular. Taxonomies threatens getting singularly postmodern.

But I fear all our hashtags and taxonomies and synergies are obscuring how useful this thing that Dr Pack stumbled on last week could actually be. Basically, @partyConference (and I don’t know who they are) suggested a standard style of tag, starting with the # character, for all the party conferences. If you tag a text message with the hashtag, or tweme, ‘#libdem08’ it will automatically appear this page on the website twemes.com

To the best of my knowledge, no-one did anything to create that page – unless it was put there by @partyconference themselves. Or did the website just notice that lots of people were suddenly saying #libdem08 and bring a lot of them together in one place? (Interestingly, at the moment, there doesn’t appear to be a #lab08 page – if you try twemes.com/lab08 all you see is a message tagged #boring…)

But hold on a second minute. It’s not just the twitter messages that can be made to appear on that wee page. Items posted to del.icio.us do as well, as do photos on flickr. This is when we get to the cross-media, cross-platform excitement. Suddenly it’s all very interesting indeed.

You can really see the application of this when a large volume of tech savvy people all go to the same place at the same time. And Lib Dem conference was that place. All I need to do now is convince a few more people apart from me and Will Howells to upload photos, and we will be literally unstoppable.

I can’t wait to see whether the Tories or Labour make owt out of hashtags at their own efforts.

Really good transport website

I have been spending today wandering around the exhibition at conference talking to all the people who have come to conference to talk to Lib Dems. Dozens of them.  We have been promoting Lib Dem Voice – the logic is if people are prepared to fork out thousands of pounds to come to conference they’d be interested in either advertising on our website or occasionally penning an article.  As we’re new every morning, as the song goes, we’re always looking for content.

There have been many interesting stalls, and we’ve spent hours talking to fascinating people.

But one website being demonstrated here in the conference has really struck as me as interesting enough to beatle away and blog about. It’s called KeepMoving.co.uk/Government and it had some really interesting graphical displays of transport data, specific to individual localities. Now I’m sure my council tracks this closely, but making the data widely and simply available is not something I’ve seen yet.

There were key useful tools. Pop in your constituency and it tells you all sorts of fascinating data. Nottingham South is the 39th most congested constituency; 51st highest accident level; and 447th most expensive fuel. I didn’t realise that our congestion or accident stats were that bad (top decile), but being bottom quartile in terms of petrol cost is something I knew about – drive almost anywhere else in the country and petrol is more expensive.

They also have a journey time map – click on any place in the country and they print a driving map to show you how far you can get in 5 minute segments. They show lists of traffic incidents, including accidents and roadworks; they have a map giving real-time road congestion data, and roads to avoid; they have CCTV cameras up and down the M1 to show where the current hotspots are. I wish this had been around while I still had a 40 minute motorway commute every day!

Magistrate vs Armed Response

An interesting post on Magistrate’s Blog gives us a picture of armed response police officers and asks why some of them are wearing balaclavas that obscure their identities.

I think the fact that the picture is still easy to find months after the incident probably answers the question.  It seems entirely fair to officers put in this really difficult situation that they not become public figures because of the actions they have to carry out.

I wouldn’t want to be an armed policeman, and I sure as heck don’t want to see the police carrying guns as a matter of routine.  But I entirely understand that we need some officers to be armed, and I hope I never find myself in a situation where I need them.

It is interesting, though, that although both armed cops and magistrates will simply because of their jobs from time to time have to take decisions that prove controversial in the long run, you’re currently not allowed to take photos of magistrates on the job. I wonder how Magistrate would feel to see his photo in a tabloid along with some rabble-rousing copy along the lines of “THIS IS THE BEAK THAT LET THE PAEDO GO”.

All this may change – there are plans at Lib Dem conference to debate letting cameras into court.  I wonder if Magistrate will start wearing a balaclava if his decisions get opened to wider scrutiny.

My first morning in the New World

So, I awoke this morning, just, turned on my phone… and no more happy chirps from all my online friends telling me how their day was going. I missed the Beaver of Bad News; I missed news from thoroughlygood about his appointment with his doctor, and a few other bits of information that are not earth-shattering but for the last year or so have been part of my daily routine.

And I got online here and eventually found and approved the comments left on the previous post, too.

Rather than answer them in the comments, I thought I would start a new post. I did, of course, realise I was getting something for nothing, and practically every time I have tried to recruit a new person to the twitterverse almost the first question has been, “How does that work, financially? How are Twitter making ends meet?” So I entirely understand that this day has been long coming, and shouldn’t be all that much of a surprise. It makes a little more sense than when Orange killed Wildfire. It is still a wrench, however.

Then there were suggestions of workarounds. I have started using Cellity (although I don’t yet like it much) because I’m the sort of person who does have a smart phone and can install apps, and does have a 3G connection. There are people on my contact list who don’t have that option, and will be impossible to convince of the merits of upgrading to a wazzocky new phone just because of the changing status of Twitter.

There was a slightly weird comment along the lines of “You want it, you pay for it” which isn’t an option – there isn’t a button to say “I’ll pay for these text messages” and the email from Twitter just said their calculations came up with a nice round $1000 per user per year on 250 messages a week. Doing the maths makes that more than I currently pay Orange for all my mobile services (apart from SMS whilst abroad, which cost me dear this year and the occasional Dropped-My-Phone-And-Broke-It tax). I’m not at all averse to paying for good internet services I use regularly – I support all sorts of things from Goosync to Wikipedia – but £50 a month seems a bit steep.

Another slightly hostile comment along the lines of “you’ll just have to have more mobile phone masts in your ward.” Erm, what?! I have used my phone extensively in my ward, including 3G services, and I’m not aware of any black spots. We’re a city, we were probably ahead of the curve when it came to mobile phone masts.

And the suggestions about continuing with a mobile phone service at our conference next month. Well, yes, it is technically possible, but it’s gone from a 2-step simple solution

  1. text “Follow libdemvoice” to +44 7624 804 423, which you can do from anywhere in the world without us needing to know your number
  2. receive a message every time one of the team taps text into the internet

… to something a whole lot more complicated

  1. We would now have to actively collect mobile phone numbers and be sure they had consented to receiving messages (itself no mean feat).
  2. We’d have to process opt-ins and opt-outs ourself.
  3. We’d have to choose and learn how to use an SMS bulk mailer.
  4. We have to charge it up and pay for it,
  5. and if our service was succesful we might have to find some light touch way of passing the charges onto our users.

It would have been possible, but Twitter made it all easier. Now that’s all gone, gone. (fx rents clothes asunder)

As for the relative finances of the Lib Dems vs Twitter, who knows? The Lib Dems certainly don’t have Twitter’s reach. And Lib Dem Voice, who would have been offering the service, certainly have next to nothing in their account at the moment.

And another thing!

It’s just occurred to me that I lose some of the really helpful synergy between Twitter and IwantSandy (another free service I have come to rely on), who I had set up to send text messages to my phone to remind me of stuff. I need reminding to check my voicemail, to take the bin out on a Thursday, and which bin it is this week. I’m lost, I’m lost, wail, wail.

PS I hope GMail isn’t next.

Oh my god, they killed Twitter!

An email arrives essentially telling me that the folks behind Twitter have finally realised they can’t afford to continue sending millions of text messages out for free. Although they have come to some arrangements with mobile phone carriers in other countries, the UK number has been removed from service with immediate effect. You can still send messages to it, but it will no longer send any messages back to you.

This pretty effectively kills Twitter the way I’ve been using it for the past few… years? Months? I imagine the thing I’ve been doing on this blog will continue, but it will be much harder to use it to communicate instantly. One of the good points has been the fairly instant replies you get to questions and jokes from the random set of people who follow you and you follow.

You can still get at the twitter data using either a mobile phone web browser or a third party app like Cellity, but that does take away the simplicity. I don’t suppose my mother’s mobile phone could do either, for starters. And for me, there will no longer be that constant stream of updates – I regularly get through my allowance of 250 messages a week. Life will be much quieter without the constant phone chirp.

And it rather detracts from our plans to have an instant messaging service at Lib Dem Conference too. That’s a shame – it would have been pretty cool.

EDIT: the rant continues here.

Latest from Lord Bonkers

The latest instalment of his Lordship’s diary is begining to be aired over at SHROPSHIRE ALIEN EXCLUSIVE Liberal England.

It caused me briefly to ponder punctuation. I first misread “Like so, what?” – a perfectly Bonkerish phase – as “Like, so what?” – which is something his Lordship is most unlikely to say. Much more in line with one of the Well Behaved Orphans, assuming that one can get mobile telephone receiption at the Home.