• Last day on island. Nervously looking at UK weather forecast. Cold, frosty, gales forecast. Bumpy plane ride ahead. #
• Still, lots to look forward to: my own bed and coffeemaker, the cats… #

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• Oh, nt #
• Oh my, someone made vastly too many "Madeira 2000" decorative tiles #
• Possibly the quickest ever transit from wanting to see wicker to never wanting to see wicker again. #
• In the absence of signs to Trad Madeira House, have followed signs #
• to Parque temático. #
• @Psythor mine is the chronicically neglected http://www.alexfoster. me.uk/feed in reply to Psythor #
• @MadameNottm not me! I keep finding P's lying around, he takes it off to moisturize, wash, wash up… in reply to MadameNottm #
• In deserted theme park on my own, outnumbered by staff 50-1. Embarrassing doesnt begin to cover it. #
• On to the trad craftsman huts where staff stand chatting and smoking until you show up then pretend to weave and pot and wicker. #
• Ooh, a ghost train. And me the only rider. #
• Every, creepy speaker stones singing trad classics in shrill children's choir voice. #
• Okay, now to get rental tank out of multi storey without scratches #
• @JohnBM parque temático, Santana, Madeira in reply to JohnBM #
• Weirdest thing about that theme park was that it was a mix of every other place I've been. #
• Restaurant Miradouro (@ Cabo Girao) http://4sq.com/cVzHiv #
• have to give rental tank back today. was supposed to meet guy half an hour ago but still no sign. #

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• Yesterday was drive around stunning scenery of São Lourenço and Paúl DA Serra. #
• Today, Santana for trad Madeiran house and Camacha for trad Madeiran wickerwork. Roads pretty hairy in east. #
• See? If I tweet, people mock. If I don't tweet, people worry! #
• RT @FakeNNWMTips: Good news! Farmville points can now be exchanged for word count! #nanowrimo #
• Hmmn, someone's gone out without his wedding ring. #

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• Guide has a way with words: "Drink the water if you want, it won't kill you. " New slogan for Evian? #
• Omeletta mista faz favor. (@ Sao Vicente) http://4sq.com/bOK8ov #
• Either I'm lost or São Vicente is tiny and deserted. #
• @Meryl_F @dr_nick P refuses to get in rental car so I'm on solo driving adventures for 3 days. in reply to Meryl_F #
• @dr_nick or maybe whole system needs flushing, or pump replacing 3 times… eventually almost worked for us. in reply to dr_nick #
• Too windy and cold to swim. (@ Piscinas Naturalis Porto Moniz) http://4sq.com/9WS3I5 #
• Me and the rented Megane are visiting Santa. #
• @Meryl_F think of it more as a rental tank. have barely been out of second gear all day. in reply to Meryl_F #
• @tom_geraghty so long as you don't mind us leaving a tipi there? in reply to tom_geraghty #
• @LloydieJL heh. I'm in Madeira and they can't seem to find us. We get London instead. in reply to LloydieJL #

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• Not entirely sure what's going off, but think selfish parking on a mountain top means bus driver doing manoeuvre of his life to turn bus … #
• Manoeuvre completed, passengers applaud. #
• Definitely a chestnut -based festival – liqueurs, soups, cakes, roast chestnuts, chestnut garlands. #
• Very entertaining people watching at bus stop. Long queue of mostly pale English, French, German, Dutch. #
• Eventually entire queue realised bus not coming as pressure of traffic closing off roads. #
• So angry queue stalks up the mountain, some via road, others using verada stairs. #
• There's a bus at the top but it's very full and not everyone can get on. English queuers get very indignant. #
• Some people have queuejumped! The horror! #
• Another bus promised in 20 mind (although timetable says another 2 hours.) #
• Meanwhile. Nowhere to sit and no shade. Some people look burned already. #
• Traffic jams all over now. Policia and bus conductor getting stressed. Locals out on balconies laughing and pointing. #
• Some people so jealous of place in queue, refusing to move for reversing bus. #
• Another bus finally here. Potuguese guy who has been sharing conspiratorial looks with me leaps through door almost before bus even stops #
• I'm finally aboard. Lots of muttering from Northern Europeans about disorganisation. #
• And we're off. 5 times as many disgruntled people left behind as seats on bus. #
• Now eye opening trip back down mountain, bus honking at every corner as it takes all the road to turn. #
• Have had lovely evening meal in Grand Cafe Columbus, by cablecar terminus. #
• A young multilingual waiter complimented my Portuguese. I have about 8 words, all learned last Tuesday. #
• Bill came. Kinnel, that was cheap. Outstanding vfm. #
• @ramtops bottom heat? in reply to ramtops #
• Have rented a car. They've given me a Megane. #
• Arrived at São Vincente Volcano Centre shortly before the start of #
• a guided tour. #

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• Starting book #6 #
• Hmm. Old Germany couple on mountain road asked for directions to bus stop. I pointed them to public stop across the crossroads. #
• Then I turned the corner and found a coach with lots of old Germans on it. Oops. #
• So, it seems a wedding ring, when dropped on tiles, makes a lovely jingling sound as it rolls off and hides under furniture. #

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