Haiku for Rob F

If you’re following my twitter stream, you’ll have seen the message sent this afternoon:

As loose change falls through pocket holes, down my trouser leg into my boots, I remember why I stopped wearing these jeans.

It was already a bit of a job to truncate the facts enough to fit them into a text message that sounded quirky but communicated all the facts.  These are old jeans.  A laundry mis-management event means they’re the only trousers currently available.  I’d stopped wearing them for a reason, but couldn’t really remember what it was until halfway through my day when a really odd sensation of coins trickling down my leg and ending up jangling in my shoes reminded me of the holes in my pockets.

However, the posh sounding Northumbrian thought it was a haiku, which gives the added challenge of communicating enough facts in just 17 syllables…

My first attempt…

Coins falling down trouser leg
Landing in my boot.
That’s why I stopped wearing them.

… I misremembered the syllable pattern and did 7-5-7 instead of 5-7-5.

Coins fall down my leg
From holes in my pockets.  That’s
Why I benched these jeans.

Hmmm.  It doesn’t have the boot-jangling sense and “benched” is uncomfortably and uncharacteristically close to sport for me. Perhaps Dogwood can manage better.

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4 comments on “Haiku for Rob F

  1. neil h says:

    Hole in my pocketCoins fall like rain in winterNo stitch in time

  2. neil h says:

    Pesky comment box
    Refuses to recognise
    the br line tag

  3. Rob L says:

    Handful of loose change
    Wrong jeans into which to change
    That’s how you lose change

  4. Rob F says:

    I had no idea such a fountain of creativity had been spawned by my lack of poetic knowledge. All, all shall have prizes.

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