Brighton Charter Hotel j’accuse

Mike points us to Overyourhead and a flickr photoset all there to heap shame on the festering cess pool that is the Brighton Charter Hotel.

I’m pretty sure I have stayed in the very room depicted, during conference season a number of years back.  It was a second year running at Brighton, and I’d had a bright idea.  The year before, I had spotted a number of top notch looking sea front hotels with signs in the window offering rooms at very low rates.  So my plan was to turn up at Brighton and trundle my wheelie suitcase up and down the sea front and find a top-notch hotel at knock-down rates.

It didn’t work one bit.  All the hotels still had the cheap room signs, but reception staff all looked at my sandals and trundly suitcase and sneered that whatever the sign said, the rate didn’t apply during conference season.  They had rooms, but they were on nightly rates of well upwards of £100.

So I ended up in the Brighton Charter, which was much cheaper, but nasty.  Very uncomfortable beds with dusty bedspreads on top of mouldy sheets. Holes in the very thin walls.  Yes, a sea view, but no working telly, barely a lock on the door and shoddy plumbing. No kettle either.  I see room coffee facilities as an absolute essential when away at conferences.  It’s an outrage to have to pay retail prices to sustain one’s caffeine addiction.

Worst of all was what I heard at night.  Loud music is one thing.  Domestic violence in the corridors quite another. There was lots of slamming of doors and tearful jibes shouted through the walls.  I’m not sure how serious the argument was, but some fairly serious accusations were shouted about violence, leaving me unsure of the ettiquette.  Should I intervene and risk getting myself beaten up whilst also not achieving anything? Should I sit tight and let them sort out their own affairs?  It carried on for three nights.

After that, I was fortunate enough to move out, because my then boss vacated his room in the Brighton Hilton two days early, giving me a vital key card (easy access to conference bar without grovelling to residents) and a few nights of luxury to wash away the squalor. The room probably had more floor space than my entire house, and had a private sea front balcony.  A huge bath helped greatly with the final day hangover.

This year, however, I’m still in two minds about whether to go to conference.  I have paid to go; and I have a costly room reservation in a nice hotel. I have much more space in the room than I need, as I was hoping to persuade P to come down too, but that is not to be. There’s even a spare bed.  I can still cancel my reservation and not lose money; and I booked long enough in advance for the conference registration fee not really to matter to me.

It would certainly be nice to catch up with old friends, and make policy and generally do all of those conferenc-y things.  But is it worth the hundreds of pounds it will inevitably cost?

12 comments on “Brighton Charter Hotel j’accuse

  1. Hugh Oxford says:

    If you thought being stuck in a hotel room in Brighton with domestic violence going on was bad, just think what the other guests must have felt to hear you being sodomised.

    What a thought that people like you represent us. How on earth can you stand up for marriage, the family and the common good in the face of a deteriorating society of which you are a part? And the worst of it is, you’ve shirked your responsibility for bringing future generations into the world, so you don’t have responsibilities holding you back on your power quest.

    It’s a disgrace.

  2. niles says:

    Good grief. Well, that wins the prize for most unpleasant blog comment I’ve ever had.

    Sodomy wasn’t involved in the Brighton Charter as I was there on my own.

    I’m pretty sure I don’t represent you, as you don’t appear to live in my ward. I clearly don’t represent your views.

    I’m not entirely sure I have decided I won’t have children. And I am quite definitely not on a power quest.

    Please don’t post on my blog again unless you have something constructive to say.

  3. Jon says:

    The disgrace is comment #1.

    Keep blogging away Niles – and I hope you make it to Conference.

  4. Ryan Cullen says:

    Wow! So listening to married couples at it is perfectly fine?
    I’m shocked that someone can put gay sex higher in shame than domestic violence, but I suppose “Hugh” believes that hitting your wife is fine.

    Anyway, back to Brighton. Oh come on, come on, come on, come on. We’ve even managed to persuade the boys to come this time.

  5. Paul Elgood says:

    Hi, sorry to hear of your experiences last year. If you do decide to come down this year, I’d be happy to point you in the right direction for some of our better places to stay (even perhaps cheaper!).

    What a strange post comment 1 is, I’d have deleted it by now!

    Best wishes


  6. niles says:

    A quick note to Hugh – your further note in this thread will not be published, and neither will anything else in that vein.

    If you’d used your own e-mail address to post from, you’d have received this information privately rather than through this message.

  7. Colin & I shared a room in the Charter last year. Never again! Even for the £25 per night.
    Single beds small enough to mean if you rolled over you fell out.
    This year I’m treating Vic to the Grand (that is until she pays for half the room…)

  8. C F says:

    I have stayed at the Brighton Charter Hovel too very very nasty. More Dirt there than my dust bin.

  9. Cllr Peter Bedofrd says:

    My God. This blog is 100% accurate!…That place is actually Satan’s Gateway to Hell…I Actually slept fully clothed on top of the beds (because of severe yellow discolouring. The room I was in was small, dark, damp, a “view” of scaffolding and the smell Pigeon Poo. Photo’s were taken and complaints formally made to Brighton and Hove Council…I eagerly await the report of the Health and Safety Executive!

  10. Willy says:

    The bar in this hotel is/was great and I had a brilliant stag do here a few years back but the rooms are like something out of “Young Ones”. My wardrobe had no back on it and there was seagull droppings on top of it. When you pulled the chain in the communal toilet the water fell out of the cistern and didn’t even make it to the toilet bowl. From passing this hotel I think it has closed down which isn’t a surprise really (may have re-opened, I’m not sure). it’s a shame as the owners are really nice people. Andy

  11. Mike says:

    Eek. I was meant to be staying at this hotel in a few weeks for a wedding. Am glad you posted about how bad it is. Am going to go and stay at the Ramada in Brighton instead. Anyone else stayed there?

  12. Lee says:

    Hahaha. You’ve hit the nail on the head with this place.

    We stayed there while in Brighton on a stag do and the locks on the door were so bad we didn’t even bother taking the keys out with us anymore. We just nudged the door when we wanted to get in.

    Holes in the ceiling, Stank of piss and generally the grottiest place I’ve stayed. Even compared to £1.50 a night hostels in Thailand and Malaysia.

    They said breakfast was included in the price but when we got there the kitchen was closed. Pretty sure that was a gift from God.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s