I've earned this

I’ve earned this

Originally uploaded by nilexuk.

I’ve been leafletting since 8am. It is polling day, so that was a really light escape. That was the earliest I could get here by public transport, and not bad since I didn’t leave here til long gone 9 last night. Everything takes longer by bus — but it gives me a cracking excuse for not turning up at 5am. Sorry, but first bus ain’t til 0705.

My feet are killing me, I’ve nearly walked through the soles of my trainers, my legs ache and my arms are dropping off because not only have I been shoving leaflets through doors, for most of the morning I’ve been carrying a ton of leaflets around so I don’t keep having to walk back to base.

My hands and arms are covered in minor abrasions from bag handles and the sharper letterboxes. Worst of all, I’ve been mauled by a sodding cat! You learn to expect the dogs – the straightforward ones that bark when you open the gate, the ones that wait to bark until you’re a bit closer and make you jump out of your skin, and the sneaky ones that lie silently in wait on the doormat and then have your finger off without warning. But a cat? This one was sitting quietly under the letterbox and the first I knew was when it launched itself claws first at the sill and drew blood from my finger.

Remind me – why do I do this?

Anyway, I’m sitting in a pub to take the weight off and use the facilities. I’m allowed – I had a letter for the landlord. Would have been rude not to have a quick drink. So I’m sitting here moblogging to avoid eyeballing a resident I just had a run-in with.

“That Deidre [candidate] must have a bob or two. I’ve had 6 leaflets!”

Six, eh? Is that all?

I *hate* cars

A few days ago, I went to test drive a nearly-new Clio.

I’m not convinced of the point of test-driving anything, since anything I get behind the wheel of is going to feel incredibly smooth in comparison to my current car.

In any case, getting into a Clio and more importantly, looking in its boot and putting the back seats down, convinced me that it’s too small. At least, too  small to go camping in.  There’s no way I could do a booze cruise in something that size.

Right next to it at the dealership was a Megane that was almost in my price range.  I didn’t actually test drive that, but the guy let me sit in it and play with the controls, and somehow, I was immediately sold.  It had soo many wazzocky extras, that car just had to mine.

It had

  • Card instead of key
  • Just press the clutch and hit the ‘start’ button
  • Automatic windscreen wipers that sense the rain
  • Automatic headlights that come on by themselves when it gets dark
  • Oddment holders aplenty
  • Fully customizable cockpit — the seat moved through four dimensions, the steering wheel was adjustable
  • Green alligators
  • Long necked geese
  • Humpy-back camels
  • Chimpanzees

Without even having started the ignition, I had to have the car.

So I went away and got the money together to buy it and phoned the dealership to start the haggling.

“I’m phoning about the ’52 Megane”

“What colour was it?”  (Eh?  I thought it was just the girls who worried about colour) “Flame red?  Oh, sorry mate, that one’s gone.”

Gone?  GONE???  You sold MY CAR?????

Grrr.  Now I have to go back to the drawing board and try and work out what I actually like.  Is there any point going for wazzocky automatic windscreen wipers or will they just break and annoy me?

One thing I have learned, and that’s car dealer websites are universally awful.  The manufacturers are trying to put every exciting new thing on their sites and take hours to load, the local dealerships use flash and have no alternatives. Half the time the searches pull up the wrong results.  They refuse to work on Firefox.  I’ve had to fire up Iexplore.exe more times in the last two weeks than in the whole of the last year, just to look at cars!

And I’m no further foward.  I have to start from scratch on what I think I want.  I had been quite prepared to trade the green colour for wazzocky features.  Would I do that again?  Should I just walk the 0.3 miles to Millennium Car Supermarket and drive away the first piece of trash that meets my budget and has a big boot?

Questions, questions.