A few days ago, I went to test drive a nearly-new Clio.
I’m not convinced of the point of test-driving anything, since anything I get behind the wheel of is going to feel incredibly smooth in comparison to my current car.
In any case, getting into a Clio and more importantly, looking in its boot and putting the back seats down, convinced me that it’s too small. At least, too small to go camping in. There’s no way I could do a booze cruise in something that size.
Right next to it at the dealership was a Megane that was almost in my price range. I didn’t actually test drive that, but the guy let me sit in it and play with the controls, and somehow, I was immediately sold. It had soo many wazzocky extras, that car just had to mine.
- Card instead of key
- Just press the clutch and hit the ‘start’ button
- Automatic windscreen wipers that sense the rain
- Automatic headlights that come on by themselves when it gets dark
- Oddment holders aplenty
- Fully customizable cockpit — the seat moved through four dimensions, the steering wheel was adjustable
- Green alligators
- Long necked geese
- Humpy-back camels
Without even having started the ignition, I had to have the car.
So I went away and got the money together to buy it and phoned the dealership to start the haggling.
“I’m phoning about the ’52 Megane”
“What colour was it?” (Eh? I thought it was just the girls who worried about colour) “Flame red? Oh, sorry mate, that one’s gone.”
Gone? GONE??? You sold MY CAR?????
Grrr. Now I have to go back to the drawing board and try and work out what I actually like. Is there any point going for wazzocky automatic windscreen wipers or will they just break and annoy me?
One thing I have learned, and that’s car dealer websites are universally awful. The manufacturers are trying to put every exciting new thing on their sites and take hours to load, the local dealerships use flash and have no alternatives. Half the time the searches pull up the wrong results. They refuse to work on Firefox. I’ve had to fire up Iexplore.exe more times in the last two weeks than in the whole of the last year, just to look at cars!
And I’m no further foward. I have to start from scratch on what I think I want. I had been quite prepared to trade the green colour for wazzocky features. Would I do that again? Should I just walk the 0.3 miles to Millennium Car Supermarket and drive away the first piece of trash that meets my budget and has a big boot?