Iain Dale is asking for jokes — I suggested the following.

Here’s a good one. It wasn’t quite told like this to me when I heard it last, but I’m sure you get the general drift. Just for you, I’ll waive the usual fee.

Whenever I go drink-driving, I carry three cards with me.

If the police pull me over and ask me to blow into a bag, I hand them the first card. It says

ASTHMATIC — PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR BREATH SAMPLE.

If the blighters persist, and ask for a blood sample, I hand them the second card. It says

HAEMOPHILIAC — PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR BLOOD SAMPLE.

Sometimes that gets me off. But sometimes they still carry on, so for those cases, I carry a card that says

I’M IAIN DALE. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO WIN NORFOLK NORTH FOR THE TORIES AT THE LAST ELECTION BUT LIB DEM NORMAN LAMB INCREASED HIS MAJORITY BY 10,000 VOTES.

PLEASE DON’T TAKE THE PISS.

I wonder if he lets that through his filter. (He has, good for him 🙂
Last time I heard the joke, it was actually told by Graham Watson MEP, and the punchline was “I’m a Lib Dem MEP, please don’t…”