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Lord Bonkers

More delightful news from Lord Bonkers, in particular, how he manages his agricultural estates.

Earlier in the year he revealed his insistence on the $3-a-day EU subsidy paid for each cow be paid directly to the cow:

Did you know that each European cow is subsidised to the tune of $3 a day? As a Liberal I insist that this money is paid directly to the beasts themselves, and that has made a great difference to the rural economy in these parts with many cows now owning their own sheds, running small businesses and enjoying holidays abroad. I also touch upon the topic of ‘set aside’: this year I am not growing barley, but in past years I have not grown more exotic crops such as linseeds and lupins. Indeed, people would drive for miles to look at the brightly coloured flowers not growing amid the green fields of Rutland.

In his most recent Diary in Liberator, we are treated to details of the Rutland estate 4-year crop rotation system:

Here on the Bonkers Hall estate I have long practised the rotation of crops: clover one year, wheat the next, then turnips, then a cricket pitch and then back to clover. So it was that during the tea interval of my XI’s last match of the season I gave orders for the pitch to be ploughed up. There were one or two raised eyebrows when we went on to bowl the other side out cheaply, but I am sure all my readers will understand that my actions were motivated purely by a concern for the principles of sound agricultural management.

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Ouch

“I think people in British politics will be very pleased because they want a thirsting and thrusting Liberal Democrat party that’s out there making our distinctive case – and that’s what I’m getting on to do.” Charles Kennedy

Charlie, if I were you, I’d be downplaying the thirstyness.

Removal men




Removal men

Originally uploaded by nilexuk.

Spent this afternoon moving “the big stuff” for which we had professional help from two alarming looking teenagers. (Removal men aren’t supposed to be younger than me! They’re supposed to be reassuringly middle-aged, and wear boiler suits, not track suits. They’re supposed to have anecdotes about the Duchess’s pianner, not lengthy phone conversations about getting their X-boxes on the internet!)

The day is rapidly approaching when we take up residence in our new des res. I have to move and reduce my kitchen and P has to build the bed and clean the bathroom. (Don’t look at me like that, he likes doing it.)